There’s no such thing as a lost cause.

“we’re grown ups now, we dont fight over chairs”

This just made laugh! The fact that it was actually said seriously was what made me laugh! (I would like to add that I was sat on the chair first so it WAS MY CHAIR!)

I had a nice little chat with my brother about travelling today.

Next year im going on a round the world trip with “RealGap gap years” for 5months (which im mega excited about) and my brother asked me what i’d got done so far

To which I replied with:

“well, i’ve applied for a Credit card for emergancies, I dont want to be in different country with no money for food and shelter (thats a scary thought), i’ve brought some essential things from the “kitlists” I was given, I’ve found out what jabs i need and how much they cost…”
well basically I went through EVERYTHING that I’d done and that I was going to do, and if you were close to falling asleep during that little paragraph imagine what my brother was like!

My brother, for some reason wasnt impressed. I was rather quite proud of myself, I thought I was pretty organised, Ive gone through EVERY worst case senario (even the bit by a snake in australia one) and I know that i’d have a good idea what to do in case of an emergancy. BUT NOOOOOOOOOO! Mr im an army guy im used to travelling and being in crisis+chaos was like:
“charlie, your missing the point of travelling and the opportunity you have! you could have a real adventure! when I went travelling all I had was £50 and a sleeping bag” 

EEERRRRR JAMIE YOU WENT TO THE LAKE DISTRICT?! thats not even far away, its like…what…an hours drive away??

Im going to be in a different country without my mum and dad to sort out any mess that I get into, and for me that is really scary! Usually when something goes wrong I depend on other people - and thats partly why im doing this. I dont want to be an adult that depends on her mum and dad for EVERYTHING, people think that im really confident but secretly im not! I get scared about doing stuff that ive never done before and especially if im doing it by myself! I can get on a stage in front of hundreds of people and belt out a monologue but put me in a different country on my own and ill fall apart! But im always going on about how you should do the stuff that you really want to do even though it scares you so im not going to be a hypocrite and plus by going on this trip im crossing off over half the “stuff i want to do before i die :)” how many people can say that? So im being organised so I dont die basically. because I know for a fact if i rang my mum and dad saying “shit, mum, dad, im stranded in peru” they’ll be like “be an adult, you got yourself in that mess, so you get yourself out!” and my parents arnt rich, they cant just put £1000 in my account. which you know what, im happy about. If i came from a rich family and was daddys “little princess” I would so not be the way I am today. Right this minute im working all the time, sometimes 18 hours out of 24hours just so i can pay for this trip. (a job that I HATE) I havnt brought anything for myself in weeks, including food, I walk everywhere and im tired. Basically my money goes on rent and then straight into my savings acocunt. To really appreciate something you have to work hard for it. so YEAH i am being organised. This trip is costing me over £20.000, I dont want it screwed up thank you!

You know when you have one of those days where your making a cup of tea and forget the tea bag…

whooooaa! How unfit am I! I used to run everyday and go to the gym twice aday and now I get out of breath just running 5minutes! whaaaaat! I blame the weather and work (I use these excuses for everything - really im just lazy and unable to motivate myself) I went for a run today for the first time in months and I was stopping and starting constantly, I was like “for crying out loud, WTF” If it werent raining and wet I would have just fell flat on the floor and screamed to the heavens in temper and despiration…plus there were other runners.

ANYWAY the reason why I need to get fit is because I have signed up for the big fun run for bowel cancer with my cousin as last year she lost her dad to bowel cancer -she is very strong and very brave and im PROUD to be running beside her!!!!
I have my bowel cancer t-shirt (a lovely shade of blue with a dodgy looking picture of bowels - lovely=/) I have the running trainers and the running shorts and the running trax mix on my ipod..basically i have all the gear…I just can’t run for more than 5mins at this moment in time! which is stange as I used to be able to run for ages without stopping!

Its NOT to loose weight - infact I have to highlight that point because I will be going nowhere NEAR scales! Me and scales just dont mix  - you could say we used to have a love-hate relationship! scales will unleash a beast inside me that I really dont want to escape. I used to suffer from anorexia and that is something that NEVER leaves you. It effected my whole life and everyone in it. (it sometimes effects it now) The skinnier I got the more unhappy I got, it was a very low point in my life and a point i’d rather not repeat! Now I eat too much, no really, I think im making up for all the time I didn’t eat! But even though im…shall we say porky, im not unhappy. In fact I now have laughter lines not sunken cheek bones! Well sometimes it gets me down but I now have a social life and can go out and have a cadbury flake milkshake without feeling guilty - which is something that I really value in life now and when I tell my friends that they dont really understand, but it gives me butterflys to know that overcome that obstacle in my life! I’ll admit now that im very insecure but I know that im strong too =) and i can sit there and say “I just ate a whole dominos large pizza…to myself…because im cool…”

My LAST work free day probably for AGES, and my mum decides to

1. book me an appointment at 9am at the doctors so they can steal some blood from me (i’ll have to thank them for my tennis size bruise)
2. wake me up at 6:30am by wondering into my room and attempting to tidy up my ORGANISED mess (I do appreciate you mumatron but now I cant find anything)
3. switch the hoover on. why mum! just tell me WHY you need to hoover at 7am??

Thanks mum…I love you but you need to buy me chocolate after all that.

Hang on, wait a moment, what the hell was that!